Now maybe I'm just too sensitive but I can't stand it when a person who is taking care of customers in a line refuses to smile. It just irritates me; like an itch that you can't find; no matter where you scratch. When it's in a public library, somehow it's worse.

I recently went to sign up for my library card. I purposely stood back a bit to protect the privacy of the person at the counter. Sure, I know it's only a library, but it's a habit; I do it in pharmacy lines, bank lines. (Oddly, I just realized that this doesn't apply to the grocery line where apparently I don't feel the need for privacy is so urgent. I push right down the line with the previous person and actually feel pretty annoyed when they decide to leave their cart behind them (as opposed to pushing it out ahead of them after it''s emptied) because it delays my ability to empty my own cart. The domino effect that results is that I then have to toss my groceries up in a hurry so that I can watch the clerk ring up my purchases so that I can be sure that I'm getting all of the sale prices...)

So, back to the library. When the woman behind the counter stared at me, unsmiling, for long enough, I decided that that must be her way of acknowledging me and beckoning me forward. I went up and told her I would like to submit my application for a library card and showed it to her. She held it at by a corner and at arm's length, and looked at it like she'd never seen one before. She appeared to be reading it. She was silent and, after what seemed like an excrutiating amount of time I asked, "Is this where I submit it or do I turn it in somewhere else?" She responded by asking for my ID and current address.

I went out to my car to get my license and proof of address and returned to another clerk. He didn't smile, either, but he did sit right down and began to input my information. I didn't know nor did anyone explain to me that I was getting the card right away; I thought I was just dropping off the application. Luckily, my mind is like a steel trap and I figured it right out...after a while...when I saw my card in his hand...and I asked him if I was getting the card today...and he told me, "yes"...

I got a few books and returned to check out. The non-smiling female clerk was there again so I was stuck with her...I mean, I chose her line. As she checked me out, I asked if there was a drive-thru book drop. She said, "Yes." and I think she may've even nodded her head a little bit; not sure. I didn't have my glasses on and I felt like I was possibly developing a tic so maybe it just looked like she nodded. I asked her where it was. I asked this way: "Where is it?" Her response? "It's outside." That's a direct quote. I think I got that right. Yep, two words, "It's outside."

Now, I'm no Isaac Asimov, but I'm pretty sure that I already knew that, if they had a drive-thru book drop, that it would be outside. The sarcasm must've read on my face because she looked at me and then added, "It's out front. You'll see it when you leave." I had to ponder this for a while. There are at least 6 exits that I could choose from so I decided to leave through the front door because I assumed that she meant that I would see the book drop if I left through the front door. About halfway to the door I heard her tell me to "have a nice day" but I thought that just might've been an after-thought so I didn't reel around to wish her the same.

I walked outside and began to look around. I looked at the front of the building where I thought I would see the book drop. There was nothing on the building. I watched some cars drive past in case they were dropping off books. They weren't. I re-studied the building in case I missed a slot or a sign. Nothing. I felt a teensy bit pissed off and I may have uttered the b-bomb under my breath, so I decided to go back to my car and try again at another time or to ask another, friendlier person.

I walked across the drive toward my car and there it was: The drive-thru book drop. It was across the drive and on the walk beside the main parking lot. It looked like a large, free-standing mailbox but instead of blue, it was painted white and had a sign on it, "Drop books here."

So, thank you, Clerky McBitchster, for those concise yet accurate directions to the drive-thru book drop. You made my day easier and your warmth will be passed on to the people I meet.